Sunday, September 18, 2016


Hallo again, Effurybody!

We know, it's been a long time since Our Last Post, but it's furry hard for little kitty paws to o-purr-ate the computer thingy without Human Assistance, and since Our Human so thoughtlessly deserted Us for Ten Whole Days, just to go traipsing off to England, We had no way of letting you all know of Our Plight!

Yes, kitties, it is All Too True! She decided it was time to go and visit her brother in London, leaving Us to the Evil Machinations Tender Mercies of a kitty-sitter. For this pawpose, She employed her Stepsister, and the Evil Nice Lady Vet's Assistant, Michal, who came on alternate days to feed Us, give Us water, clean out Our Litter-boxes and generally see to Our Welfare.

Mummy was born in England, which is far away over the sea, and in Days of Yore (as She likes to call them), in the time of Possum and Pixie, and of Minxie, who came before Us and who are now at the Bridge, She used to visit there effurry year. But since We came to live with her, She has been abroad only once, two and a half years ago (before Shimshi was born, actually), and She hasn't been back to England for Five Years.

We wondered how She was going to get there, as our Tunnel is much too small for her to use for teleporting. She said She was flying - but that's silly. Humans don't have wings. How can they fly?

Anyway, our kitty-sitters only fed Us once a day, when We are used to being fed three times daily. Of course, our daily portion was a large one -  larger than when Mummy is at hand to measure out our starvation weight-watchers' diet. In fact, Mummy claims We have actually put on weight, but We suspect that is merely an excuse to further reduce the size of Our Meals.

Shimshi was the only one of Us to venture forth when the Temporary Staff were here. He will let just about anyone stroke and pet him - especially when Food is in the offing.

Caspurr was a Real Scaredy-Cat ...

(I was not! I was merely being cautious!)

He hid in the wardrobe whenever he heard a key in the door, and wouldn't come out till he was sure the coast was clear - but he did let Michal stroke him. She knew where to find him because Mummy had betrayed his Secret Hiding Place to the Kitty-Sitters. So Michal came and stroked him and said nice, soothing things to him, but she didn't try to force him to Come Out of the Closet (mol).

But I, Queen Trixie, Empress of Jerusalem, Israel and the Entire Middle East, Guardian of the Boudoir, Alpha Kitty Extraordinaire, was smarter than either of them. Neither of my Temporary Staff caught sight of so much as a single whisker or fur from My Tail, yet I managed to eat as much as my greedy brofurs, and so it was a beautiful, glossy, well-rounded Ladycat, who greeted Mummy on her return from Parts Unknown at the beginning of this week. 

Actually, it was Shimshi who was the first to bring the News that Mummy was home. He called Me and I emerged from my Secure Hiding Place Which Nobody Knows About But Me. But though Mummy called and called, there was no sign of Caspurr. He couldn't believe it was really Mummy at last - until Shimshi went to fetch him and to bring him the news that this was no False Alarm, and that Mummy had finally come Home to where She belongs.